Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Lazy, Hazy, and Crazy

I did not go to work today. Things happened over the weekend that have left me very frustrated and completely lacking in motivation where my job is concerned. It is incredibly frustrating to be this fed up with a job, and yet realizing that if I quit right now, I am giving up some things I have worked very hard for. I just need to hold out awhile longer. God, give me grace...PLEASE!

I am at a point where I do not know what else I can contribute to my job, nor what else I can glean from it. Perhaps I will get a large sum of cash that will enable me to quit my job and move without it being a financial stress...Or, maybe I'll just have to find some way to get through the next three months without completely losing my mind.

I have not heard from Herbie or his roommate, and I am okay with that. It's only been a couple of days, but even if the silence means that Herbie is not interested, it's okay. Although I would like a definitive answer one way or the other, as I think it is just rude to leave somebody hangin' when they have asked you a question through your roommate because they were too shy to ask you themselves.

I found out last night that my dear friend emailed Herbie after I'd already talked to his roommate, because I guess I didn't sound quite pathetic enough on my own. God bless her dear little heart for that. She meant well, and I love her for it. But I feel as though we should be huddled in a corner giggling about the cute boys, leaving notes in their lockers and whatnot.


There is not much else to tell today. I feel tired, stressed, frustrated, and at the end of myself. I feel utterly spent.

Sounds like your differences with your employer's philosophy is helping with your detachment. It's hard to stay engaged when you know you're leaving. Then again, it can also help you to give your all for the right reasons.

I'll pray for rest for you.
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