Sunday, May 22, 2005
A couple of things
First, conclusions regarding Herbie:
- Herbie is not interested, therefore, I need to let it go.
- I make myself far to accessible to Herbie, so even if he were interested, he need make no effort to show that, because I am making all the moves here. I need to have the dignity and self-respect to back off. My actions lately remind me far too much of the Stefanie of 10 years ago, pathetically pursuing love and affection in all the wrong places, making herself too easily and readily accessible by the object of her affection, looking like a fool the whole time. No more!
- I deserve to be considered more than just something to look at -- or not look at, as Herbie indicated, lest he feel other-than-brotherly affection for me. I am a person, and I deserve to be treated as such.
What sparked all of this? A conversation I had with another male friend of mine last week. We talked for nearly an hour, and the whole time, he looked at me, listened to me, responded to me, and was interested in what I had to say. I have not had a conversation like that with a guy in...well, years. At the end of this conversation, I realized that I was walking away feeling like a real person, interesting enough to engage in real conversation about real things, not feeling like I'd just been "felt up" visually, and my dignity had just been sacrificed on the altar of someone else's perception of me.
Lessons learned from playing Mah Jong Quest on www.gamesville.com
- The most obvious solution is not always the best solution, and can lead to the undoing of all things in the end.
- Sometimes you have to make small sacrifices in order to reach your ultimate goal.
- The road to success can be unclear and confusing, but if you keep a cool head and do one thing at a time, rather than focusing on the big picture, you can reach your destination...victoriously!
And, it sounds like you're thinking clearly about the Herbie situation.
I know that Herbie's issues are not mine, nor are my issues Herbie's or anyone else's. Which is why I determined that, rather than drive myself crazy trying to figure out all the whys and wherefores of the situation, it's best just to let it go and move on. :)
And honestly, for the most part, I am completely okay with the conclusions I have reached, bittersweet though they are. Better to realize these things now, rather than continuing to fritter away time and dignity.
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