Sunday, June 19, 2005
A friend of mine told me there was an opening for a full time receptionist in the optometrist's office where she works, and I immediately turned in my resume. I went to the trouble of putting it on linen paper, sending it over in a matching resume folder inside of a large, also matching, envelope. My friend told me that the woman who does the hiring was so impressed with the professional presentation of my resume, she told the optometrist that she wanted to hire me. It's funny, the differences those little touches can make. I've sent that same resume out to soooo many people, without so much as a call back, let alone an interview. I send it out with all the bells and whistles, and I'm hired before I've even met the person doing the hiring. ha!
This job would be ideal, in that the hours would be WONDERFUL...no nights, holidays, or weekends...and, I believe I will also be getting benefits after 90 days. That is my understanding. Of course, I don't know what the job pays, but it's more than what I'm making right now. :)
So, I am interviewing for the position tomorrow, and will try to go in with an open mind... just in case, for whatever reason, I am not hired. However, if I am hired, I also have a couple of housing options I will give more serious consideration to.
One of these options comes from a friend in Oasis, and the other option comes from the mother of a friend in Oasis who is looking for a roommate. Both are charging the same, but one is closer to town, which is more appealing to me. I've spent the last year driving an hour to get to church, and I like the idea of being in town, right in the center of everything, and having to do MUCH less driving.
But, I'm not going to count my chickens before they're hatched. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
In other news, I am looking for someone to buy my Jeep. I love my Jeep, but the reality is that I am not likely going to find a job that pays what I was making when I left my last job, and I can't afford to keep up on the payments and still move on with my life. So, a friend of mine is going to help me list the Jeep on ebay, and he is pretty certain I'll have no problem selling it. It would be such a tremendous relief to get out from under that payment.
One door at a time, God is opening and closing avenues of progress in my situation. Through it all, I am learning much about trust, patience, obedience, and faith.
Yesterday, I was watching an Indiana Jones movie..."Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail", I believe. Anyhow, at one point in the movie, Indiana has to cross a chasm that runs through the center of a mountain. Of course, throughout all of this, he had been decoding an ancient map, and for this particular portion of his journey, the message was "Leap of faith."
Now, to look at this chasm, it seemed that there was absolutely no way to cross it. None whatsoever, without meeting certain death. Yet, to get to where he needed to be...to get to the place of saving not only his own life, but the life of his father, he had no choice but to cross the chasm. Realizing this, he said again "leap of faith", took a deep breath, set his face like stone, and took a step forward, bracing himself for impact.
He took a step and...did not fall far. Feeling something solid beneath his feet, he opens his eyes, smiles with relief, and realizes that there is in fact a bridge crossing the chasm...but it was so much like the walls of the chasm, it became literally invisble. He could not detect it by sight. He had to take that leap of faith, and then make the wonderful discovery for himself that the bridge, narrow though it was, did in fact exist, and he was not going to meet his doom on the jagged floor of the yawning chasm before him.
This scene held a very profound meaning for me as I watched the events unfold. I do feel like God has asked me to cross a chasm...leaving the certainty of the familiar to get to something that is unfamiliar and perhaps even frightening in its prospects, but it is exactly where I need to be. There are more questions than answers right now, and the only thing I can be certain of is that God has laid the path for me. That's all I've got. I am crossing the chasm of uncertainty, able only to follow the narrow path God has set for me.
I was talking with a friend of mine last Thursday about some of the things going on...or not going on...in my life right now. He reminded me that, often when we open our Bibles and read about the heroes of faith, we see them as larger than life. We see how awesomely God worked in their situations, and how He used those situations for His glory, and how these individuals seem like such heroic, willing vessels. He reminded me that we see them that way because we know how the stories end, but in the midst of everything they were going through, they were probably scared, uncertain, wondering what on earth God was doing, why they were going through things, etc...and had only their faith in God to see them through these things. All the while, they never imagined that their struggles would be used to teach generations upon generations what faith looks like.
I suppose it is easy to forget that...the humanness of our heroes. I think of the apostles. They were sent out, with little guidance other than a destination. They did not know where they would live, what they would eat, what they would find when they arrived at their destinations. They only had one little piece of information to go on, and as they walked in obedience to what little bit they did know, God put the rest of it together for them.
Throughout all of that, I am sure that there were times when they wondered if they had done the right thing, wondered if the uncertainty of this path was worth leaving the comforts and secruities of their former lives. Even moreso as the persecutions mounted, bringing more than an uncomfortable disruption to their already uncertain lives. And yet, in all of it, it seems they kept their eyes on the greater goal...that God's purposes would be fulfilled through them, even at the expense of their own comfort and certainty. Even at the expense of their own desire for control in their lives.
I think I sometimes forget that God is not always interested in my comfort, He is interested in my heart. I think sometimes God wants to see us squirm, just a little, so we can see what we're really made of. He already knows, but He wants us to see for ourselves. These experiences tend to peel away the veneer of religiosity, showmanship, and all other manner of "staging" we use, and show us what's underneath it all. It is only then that He can mold us into who He intended for us to be, before we got so caught up in the grind of being who we are.
I'm still praying for you.
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