Garden Variety Neurosis

So, tomorrow I head down to Lansing to jump over the final hurdle as I race toward my new career. On Wednesday morning, at 8 a.m., I'll be taking my exam to get my insurance license.

I know without a doubt that I am heading in the right direction. I received yet another confirmation yesterday that God is in this. I'll share...

As I began making plans for this trip, and the cost of the hotel room, the gas, the exam, my license application, and food all started adding up, I had no idea how I was going to pay for all of this, and still make it through until my next paycheck without starving and running on an empty gas tank.

I mentioned this at Oasis, asking for prayer for financial provision, but did not go any further than that. Years ago, I asked the church for help, and was turned down flat. So, with this new obstacle, I thought...why bother asking the church? They won't help me.

Still, I continued making my plans...I reserved my spot for the exam, reserved a hotel room, and crunched the numbers for fuel and food, arriving at the conclusion that it would leave me exactly zero dollars for the next two weeks. But, I figured, I've been in rough spots before and muddled through somehow. This would be no different. I wasn't looking forward to it, but I would manage.

I did pray that God would provide finances from somewhere, but really did not know where it would come from, since I had not asked anyone for help...not really.

I went to church on Sunday, and all was as it usually is...I listened to the message, talked with friends afterward, and started heading toward the door. Just then, a friend of mine stopped me.

She handed me an envelope and said she had a gift for me. She said she felt awkward about it, but didn't want me to feel awkward, because it was something she believed God was telling her to do. She said that she knew I had a need, and she had the finances to give, and God told her to help me.

I didn't know what to say. I was surprised, thankful, and once again reminded of the fact that God is ALWAYS working, we just don't always see how He is working.

I took the envelope, thanked her, hugged her, and we talked for a few minutes about what an exciting time this is in my life. She encouraged me and told me she would be praying for me regarding the exam.

When I got home, I opened the envelope and read the card, which put in writing everything we talked about an hour earlier. She told me in the note that God had instructed her to offer some financial support as I move ahead in my new career. I counted the money, and was tremendously blessed as I realized that there was more than enough money there to cover the expense of the trip. I wouldn't have to starve or let my gas tank run empty in order to make the trip...God had once again provided!!

I am humbled as I think about all of this...Not only this most recent event, but everything that has lead me to this place. God is so abundant in His grace to us. He is so merciful. So faithful. And He doesn't use His grace toward us to bring us shame, but He instead uses it to draw us closer to Him, and in doing so, peel away all the things in us that are keeping us from who He made us to be.

I am also finding that this experience of grace teaches us to show ourselves and each other a greater measure of grace. I think God's grace acts sort of like a spiritual exfoliant, sluffing off all the things that diminish our "Jesus glow", and bringing to the surface a softer, more pure, more radiant reflection of Christ Himself.

It occurs to me...it is a great honor to be in the service of the King.