Friday, January 20, 2006

One of those days

It's been one of those days that has left me feeling incredibly frustrated, a bit hopeless, and wondering what the flip is going on.

Almost two weeks ago now, I sent in two policy applications. I anticipated being paid within a few days, and was looking forward to actually having a few dollars to...oh, I dunno, put gas in the car, buy groceries, etc...Ordinarily, commissions are received within a week. Here it is, two weeks later, the business I sent in is still pending, and needless to say, I've not been paid yet. Getting the business out of pending is going to require documents being faxed. I do not have a fax machine. I have access to one at the regional office, which is about 45 minutes away from me. How I am going to get there, I do not know.

Money is far from being everything in life. However, not having it really has a way of screwing things up. I have the fuel that is in my vehicle...about 1/8 tank...and nothing more. I do not have money to purchase any more fuel, or anything else for that matter. This translates into...How the heck am I supposed to work if I can't even get to my appointments? ( I am SO fighting the urge to curse like a sailor here!)

As far as appointments go, I do have a few lined up, and those few are promising. I did write business earlier this week that should amount to a few hundred dollars in commissions. For the moment, though, I am flat on my face broke, and it will likely be at least another week until that changes. I closed a group this week, and will be closing at least one group next week, which will help generate a healthy income. In the meantime, though, I have no idea what I am going to do. I can't keep relying on other people to carry me through this dry spell.

I am frustrated beyond words right now. I understand perfectly that this is a plot of the enemy (interesting note: The premium calculation on one of the pending apps was done incorrectly at headquarters. The amount they calculated was....$666.00). I am not oblivious to his schemes. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that the utter lack of income is starting to become quite a burden, especially because there are things I need to do...things that will be profitable...and I do not know how I will do them without at least enough money for fuel for the week.

Equally frustrating is that this crunch is keeping me from being able to spend time with my friends. I do not have any friends in my own neighborhood, and I cannot get to the friends I do have.

God, help me to trust You. Help me to remember that You brought me here. Help me to keep in mind all the things that lead to this place, and that the enemy cannot pluck me from the palm of Your hand. Help me to remember how eagles learn to soar.

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