Sunday, August 20, 2006

Old Habits

So, I went out today and bought a pack of cigarettes. I have to say, it was like having coffee with an old friend as I took in that first drag of toxic air. It's a terrible habit, but all things considered, it is certainly not the worst thing I could be doing to cope with my present state of mind.

I am in s state of apathy. I am tired of caring about so many things, and if I can't feel any better even when doing all the right things, I figure...I might as well do at least one or two things that I KNOW will bring some relief, even if it is just momentary. I am just so tired.

I can just hear the lecture I'd be getting from my family, if they were not out of town. It will be beatuful to move away from this place, and not have my every decision questioned. I'm 31 years old, and should not have to explain to my parents and my sister why I choose to smoke, or drink Nyquil to help me sleep, or whatever.

It's how I'm coping, and all things considered, it's really not that bad.

Okay, on to other things....

Interesting Things I've Found While Packing:

And that's that. Looking at this list, my life is pretty boring. Just cluttered.

Patrick and Leonard will be glad to hear you picked the habit back up again. You can excuse yourself and go outside with them for your "respiratory therapy" the next time you're over at the house.
I love going through old stuff. You and I are sentimental girls.
And if you are ever interested in a donut you can go out with Craig!
What if I like cigarettes AND donuts??? I think I'll have to find a whole new set of friends, then.

From the sounds of it, I may have to think about doing some of that anyway.
Thinking about faux fresh. I can relate.
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