Garden Variety Neurosis

When I woke up Thursday morning, I was feeling a sense of despair. Perhaps not despair so much a sense of being stuck. Overwhelmed with the knowledge that, despite my packed boxes and my restlessness, I was not going to be moving anywhere, anytime soon. I was looking at my life packed up in brown egg boxes, dreading the unpacking of these things, and the sense of failure that would come with it.

Unwilling to accept defeat so readily, I made a few phone calls, investigating the possibility of getting help from the state so I could make the move. Again, because I do not have any pressing issues that make it vital that I receive help, I was denied.

Then, my sister asked me if I had looked into borrowing against my student loan. This idea had not even occurred to me, but it was worth a shot. So, I went to campus to pick up my books, then went by the financial aid office to ask about borrowing against my loan. I was told that such an arrangement was not possible. However, if I could work it out with my landlord, I could arrange to have my student loan check deposited into his bank account.

This certainly was not the answer I was hoping for, but I called my potential landlord with the information. He and his wife are very kind people, and he asked me what was keeping me from moving in. I explained that because of how much it had been costing me to commute back and forth to work, it had been very difficult for me to save any money. He asked me how much I would be able to give them, and I told them I could give them only about $200. This is roughly $400 less than they typically need to allow someone to move in. Amazingly, he said that they could take that and work out a payment arrangement for the rest. He offered to meet with me on Monday to sign the lease, work out an arrangement, and get me moved in so I could start saving money on fuel and whatnot. I was amazed by his kindness, and we set an appointment for Monday.

A short time later, I met with my sister, and explained to her what was going on. As we talked things over, we worked out an agreement in which she would help me get the right amount of money to my new landlord, and just take the payment out of my student loan.

I called my new landlord with the news that I would be able to meet their requirements for moving in, and he was thrilled!! We are still set for Monday, at which time I will be signing the lease and setting a date to move in.

I could not be more pleased or amazed with how this has worked out. I am again amazed by God's grace and goodness. I am truly humbled that He has opened this door for me, so unexpectedly. What have I done to merit His favor?? I can't think of anything.

I am so excited as I think of what this will mean for the next chapter of my life. I've got a good job, a great place to live, I'll be taking classes...moving forward, in every sense. The "stuckness" is coming to an end, and I can hardly believe it!!! This is what I have been waiting for, FOR SO LONG, and now here it is!!!

I honestly am having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. This entire situation, with the job and the apartment and the way it all came about, is so much better than anything I could have asked for. I keep waiting for someone to tell me it was just a dream, and I need to snap back into reality. But this IS reality, and it is just another testimony of the amazing way God takes care of us.