Garden Variety Neurosis

I am tired. Tired of the up and down, the happy and sad. Wanting to be with people, then wanting to avoid them. Hungry for life, wanting life to be over. Waiting for life to be over. It's the constant glowing and fading...the brilliance and the shadow...that wears me out. My heart is tired. My mind is tired. My body is tired.

I feel alive...and not. It is a moment by moment kind of living. Some moments, I feel like I'm alive...at least, more alive than I've felt in a long time. I can feel the wind on my face, appreciate the sunshine, find the humor in the everyday. Other moments, I am just going through the motions, living anything but an abundant life, unable to keep up the facade any more. Those moments happen more and more lately.