Garden Variety Neurosis

Yesterday afternoon, as I was heading out of Elk Rapids toward my family's house, a friend of mine called to see how I was doing. He already knew how I was doing, because I told him in an email only minutes before, but his phone call was very comforting and encouraging. He reminded me that I am loved, that God is using all of the things I am going through right now for a purpose we just don't see right now, and that the sadness and pain are helping me share in the sufferings of Christ...truly, a high honor.

I knew he was speaking the truth. I didn't say a lot, just cried and listened. I know without any doubt that God is going to use every bit of pain that I have been through to further His purposes in me and through me. It is just not easy to keep that focus when I'm right in the thick of it.

Today, another friend of mine sent me something in my email, and I think it bears repeating here. It could not have been more timely. It is from "My Utmost for His Highest":

And why shouldn't we experience heartbreak? Through these doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God's purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our death bed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say, "Enter into fellowship with me, arise and shine." If God can accomplish His purpose in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?

My heart is indeed broken, and the pain is very real. But, if God can use this broken heart to accomplish His purposes, then...thank You, God, for breaking it.