Garden Variety Neurosis

We...my mom and I...are leaving to go downstate tomorrow, where we will spend the night with some friends. Then, it is off to Ann Arbor on Thursday, to meet with a doctor who will hopefully be able to offer some answers and a clear direction for where we need to go with treatment. In the research I have done regarding the type of cancer I have, there are more questions than answers. I am praying that God will give the doctor wisdom beyond what is available through the science of medicine.

I cannot say that I am afraid of the treatments that may come. I am in every sense ready for them, because it will ultimately mean an end to the pain I've been experiencing as my body is compromised by the illness trying to take over. I suppose the only thing I fear is that the doctors will decide to do nothing, and I will continue to suffer with this rare and relatively unexplained invader.

Despite that fear, I am generally at peace with all that has happened, and what is yet to come. I know God is in this. I have been praying for clarity of purpose in my life for a long time. My prayers have been fervent, and I've told God that I am willing to go through whatever it takes to fulfill that purpose in my life. And here I am. I believe that clarity is going to come because of these things, not in spite of them. This is part of finding my way home.

God's welcome mat isn't always inviting, but once you've entered in, you never want to leave.

I will let you know what happens...