Monday, October 19, 2009
Home sweet...ah, screw it.
My mom has been here with us nearly 'round the clock since I got home last Friday evening. It's only been since last Friday, yet it seems so much longer...She and I definitely have different ways of doing things, and there are things that she does that absolutely get under my skin and it is all I can do keep a civil tongue in my head. I am finding that even the small things are getting to me, and Friday (when I will finally be able to pick up my son again) cannot get here soon enough.
For example, as my mom started getting things together for dinner, she says to me, "I'm just gonna throw these out. They're all gunky."
I turned to her just in time to watch her throw away some cubed sweet potatoes I had picked up from the grocery store a couple of days before going into the hospital. On my second day in the hospital, I had called my mother and asked her to eat them or serve them to Jaden, so they didn't go to waste. I didn't think I was making a difficult request, since the potatoes were already cubed and ready to serve, only needing to be heated.
Considering the simplicity of the request, perhaps you can imagine how frustrated I felt as I realized my simple request had been ignored, and the food had spoiled. It's not as though I have a huge grocery budget, either, which made it that much more bothersome.
Then, I recalled that throwing away food...especially fruits and vegetables, which often spoil before being eaten...is a common practice at my parents' house, and I had perhaps asked too much. It served to put a very fine point on the differences between the way she does things, and the way I do things.
Even writing about it now, I'm frustrated.
I also realized tonight that my chair is broken. I can still use the chair to rock Jaden to sleep, but somehow, the footrest on the chair is now broken, so it is pretty useless for reclining and relaxing in. More frustration.
And this is the part where I start getting frustrated about the "big picture" things, like why I had to have all these health issues to begin with, because it if weren't for these things, my life would be dramatically different and perhaps I would not be so dependent on my mother, with my sanity teetering precariously on the edge. I look at my life, and realize that, apart from any major happenings, Jaden and I will always struggle.
And the pisser is that, whatever we do have, my mom will let spoil and then throw it into the garbage as I watch, and when she's finished with that, she'll break my chair.
Pissy night. Pissy mood.
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