Wednesday, December 16, 2009

On Sunday, we celebrated my sweet little boy's first year in this world. He won't actually be a year old until December 27, but I didn't want his first birthday to get jumbled in with Christmas. He has plenty of years ahead of him to get cheated out of a birthday party.

Our first year together has been an amazing journey. As difficult as single motherhood is, I have no regrets about the choices I made to bring my son safely into this world, and ensure that our life would be one of peace and joy.

I have learned a lot from my son. He has taught me not to underestimate anything based on its initial appearance. He constantly amazes me as he blows my assumptions about his childlike mind out of the water. He has taught me that each moment is precious and meant to be savored, as they pass quickly and we can never have them back.

When he was two months old, he became very sick and had to be hospitalized for four days. In that time, he taught me that, while he has been entrusted to my care, he doesn't belong to me. It is my love him, nurture him, raise him to be the best person he can possibly be. When all is said and done, though, he belongs to God. I am simply honored to be his mother.

In this year, I have witnessed my sweet, helpless, needy little baby grow to become more independent, more sure of himself and his own abilities. He still needs me, and will for a long time, but not nearly in the same way that he did in those first days.

Oh, those first days...As much as I miss my tiny little baby, I wouldn't roll the clock back for anything. Those first days are utterly exhausting, and are at once the happiest and saddest days I've ever lived. I remember being bone tired, and listening to Jaden wind up for another cry to let me know he needed to breastfeed, or needed a diaper change, or just wanted to be held. In the span of 24 hours, my life had gone from one of simplicity, able to do as I please, when I please, to one of being at the beck and call of a precious little stranger. I wouldn't trade those days for anything, but I don't want to relive them. I am glad to have my little man becoming more independent every day.

More than anything, this year has taught me about God's grace. Jaden and I have been protected from so much, and we have been provided for extravagantly. That lesson has been among the greatest gifts Jaden has brought into my life.

I am blessed to be Jaden's mother. It's the best job I've ever had, and it seemed as though I was hardly living before he came into my life.

Enjoy this video montage of my son's first year. Here's to many more to come!

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